Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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