and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize