hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize