I heard we made out
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
honey bunches of taint.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
