I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
