the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
