She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
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I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
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I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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