you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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