New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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