i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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