What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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