I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Need sex. Gaining weight.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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