I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
