he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
