this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
