All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Houston, we have a squirter
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
