Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
