giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
