At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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