Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
