I can text with my tongue
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
