Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(251): View more from Alabama

Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"

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(940): View more from Texas

talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list

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(330): View more from Ohio

Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."

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(206): View more from Washington

I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.

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(574): View more from Indiana

You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock

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(203): View more from Connecticut

That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?

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