ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
