I was born with a shot glass in my hand
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!