you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
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first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
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I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.