I wanna bring you to show and tell
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.