I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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