I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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