i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
