My brain says no but my pants say off.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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