we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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