Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
