I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize