You can't special order awesome
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
is wine microwaveable?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm just crazy horny about you
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
