Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
