Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
