FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
