So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize