Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
