just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
