yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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