Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize