apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
