Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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