i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
