whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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