I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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