I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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