when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
