so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
