I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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