How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you had me at cake vodka
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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