also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
