As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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