he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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