Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
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