you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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