Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
