im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
