i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
