ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
